A woman had 8 children, all of them boys.

So, one day a magazine sent a journalist
to her house for an interview.

He asked her about the boys and what their
names were; she said 'Kelvin'.

'Right', he said, 'what about that blond
one over there?

'Kelvin', she said.

'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?'

'Kelvin', she said.

'Well, and the little chubby one with the
baseball.

'Kelvin', she said.

Are all your boys called Kelvin?' he asked,
'isn't that terribly complicated?'

'Not at all', she said, 'it makes everything
very easy, actually.

When I shout: Kelvin, tea is ready!, they all
come. When I say: Kelvin, it's time for bed,
they all go to bed.'

'I see. But what if you want only one of them?

'No problem.' she answers. 'Then I call them
by their surnames'.
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A couple drove down a country road for several
miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives
of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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A husband read an article to his wife about how
many words women use a day.

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because
we have to repeat everything to men.

The husband then turned to his wife and asked,"What?"

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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how
you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent
quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper.

"Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will
bring out the beast in me."

"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of
a mouse?"

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Never Argue With A Child

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other
end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies. A child had written a note,"Take all you want.
God is watching the apples."